Churches Chicken in Jamaica Review

I did something crazy purely out of curiosity. Some may call it nuffism. I braved the crowd and tried Church’s Chicken for the very first time. Now, in fairness, this isn’t that wild because KFC is also a long wait on any given day — but this took the better part of two hours. To make myself feel better, I’ve decided to call it research.

I was genuinely excited when Church’s announced they were coming to Jamaica. Those ASMR mukbang videos on social media had me convinced this chicken would change my life. The crunch? Immaculate. The steam? Cinematic. I told myself, my time will come.

But here’s the thing — I’m almost 30. I’m on a health journey. And my digestive system no longer digests the way it used to. So I promised myself I would not go crazy. No over-ordering. No “let me just add one more thing.” I lied, but with restraint.

I had to get the same set up like I’ve seen online in the car right in the parking lot. And listen — the chicken was good. Proper good. The crunch was loud, satisfying, and deserved its own sound effect. The chicken was juicy, well-seasoned, and did exactly what fried chicken is supposed to do. No complaints there.

Now… the biscuits.

I loved them. Yes, I know this may be controversial. But give me a soft dry-ish, buttery biscuit that requires a sip between bites and I am happy. It was giving comfort. It was giving “eat me slowly and mind your business.” I understand why people ride for them.

The coleslaw though?

Absolutely not.

I don’t know who made it. I don’t know what they were going for. But it was not for me. One bite and I was immediately disappointed because I love a fry in my coleslaw moment. It tasted like something that existed just to exist.

The fries? Solid. Crispy enough, seasoned well, did their job and went home.

The fizz drink? Mid.

Not bad. Not exciting. Just… there. If it disappeared tomorrow, I wouldn’t notice. I had more expectations I don’t know what exactly but not flavored syrup in sprite. .

So would I go back?

Yes… but not during this newbie chaos. On a random weekday, when the lines calm down and my gut feels brave? Absolutely.

Church’s Chicken lived up to most of the hype. The chicken was enjoyable, the biscuits won my heart, the sides were hit or miss, and the experience overall? Entertaining.

Was it worth two hours? Never.

Was it worth satisfying my curiosity?

Once again… research.